Minced meat (usually beef, pork, veal, or a combination thereof, but also lamb, goat, sausage and various bird meat such as duck and goose), rice, onions, and various spices, including salt, pepper and various local herbs are mixed together and then rolled into large plant leaves, which may be cabbage (fresh or pickled), chard, sorrel, vine leaf (fresh or pickled) or broadleaf plantain leaves.

Silverbeets have been in season so we decided to try out a vegetarian sarma of fresh silverbeet stuffed with rice, silverbeet, dill, onion, garlic and capsicum. It was tasty, healthy and colourful.

Silverbeet stuffed with rice and peppers

Close up of a 'sarma'

‘Don’t throw out the juices,’ Damjan said. ‘That’s the best bit.’ He poured the oily liquid into a container, which then went into the fridge.

A few days later, we took the container out and lifted out the congealed disc of fat at the top.

A disc of lamb fat

Zucchini, mushroom and kaffir lime risotto

In a hushed tone he asked, ‘Joan, do you like ducks?’

‘Um, yesss.’ Ducks, I guess they’re cute.

‘What about duck heads and duck wings?’

I thought, ‘I like the whole duck, really. Hmm, I’m confused.’

George continued. ‘I have some, you know. Duck necks, heads and wings. Would you like some? I go to this Chinese restaurant for lunch sometimes and the owners, they know me now. They gave me extra duck necks and wings. At first I was very happy but now I have had too much. Would you like them?’

‘Oh. Yes, I think so,’ I said. Cooking duck would be like cooking chicken, right?

‘Good, good. It’s in the freezer, I’ll show you now.’

I follow after George as he says, ‘It’s easy, do you know 红烧 (hóng shāo)? You can just put it in a pot, cook it with soy sauce…’

I am pleased to say that we are progressing slightly beyond student now. We had a dinner party two weeks ago (three mushroom risotto with truffle oil, rhubarb crumble with vanilla yoghurt).

This week we cooked fried rice.

Fried rice in the style of Joan's mum

I also got to take my onion goggles for a spin.

Onion goggles in the kitchen (obviously posed, as I'm chopping parsley)

Next on my kitchen gadget list, a Garlic Zoom.

I didn’t need any other birthday treat… but look what showed up!

Gingerbread presents

Remember Dippy?

Dippy the dinosaur

Well, I got used to biting off his head in order to euthanise him before devouring the rest of his gingerbread body.

Gingerbread Dippies

I don’t usually cook with cream of any kind. I wondered if it could somehow be turned into ice cream. So I bought some frozen berries and milk.

It wasn’t until I searched for ‘how to make ice cream’ on the internet did I realise that ice cream is more complicated than I thought. Depending on the recipe, you have to  cook it, whip it, use egg yolks, use milk powder… In the end, my brain couldn’t handle it so I decided to ‘cook with my gut’. (This coming from a girl who feels guilty about varying recipes slightly.)

I put the 600 grams of extra thick cream and the 400 grams of frozen berries into a blender. Then, because I felt like it, I added around 100 mL milk and two tablespoons of sugar.

It blended nicely on the ‘ice cubes’ setting then the ‘milkshake’ setting. On tasting, I found it wasn’t quite sweet enough. So I added two tablespoons of cherry jam.

Blend, blend, blend.

The flavour was perfect. Just like my favourite berry yoghurts but more fatty.

It’s now in the freezer. I stirred it a bit after two hours and found it was getting firm around the edge of the box without going icy.

I am hopeful this will turn out well. The end product may bring to mind frozen yoghurt rather than an ice cream, but maybe that’s because yoghurt is where we usually experience these berry flavours.

Nutritional information (per regular 50 gram scoop): 158kcal, 15g fat, 9.6g saturated fat, 5.3g carbohydrates, 4.5g sugar, 0.9g protein, 14mg sodium

Wow! This is 50% more calorific than normal ice cream.

I'm waiting for my improvised berry ice cream to finish in the freezer

The microwaves here were different to those back in my usual office. There was a time when it was obvious how to work a microwave — turn a dial for heat level, turn another dial for time.

New microwaves, though, bristle with buttons and glowing blue displays. With the ones at my usual office, you have to first select the power wattage (I always go for 900) and turn a numberless dial for time.

The ones at this new office were more complicated. They was some kind of microwave/oven combo.

I scratched my head for about 15 seconds, then pushed the blank button in the bottom right corner. The button had once had text on it, but it looked like the text had been rubbed away with use. I figured that it must have been the most popular button so was probably going to do something useful.

Sure enough, 30 seconds of heat appeared on the display and the microwave started whirring. After that, it was simple matter to add another two lots of 30 seconds.

He demonstrated. ‘See? Now that the pan’s warmed up and oiled properly, it’s easy.’

‘How about one-and-a-half flips?’ Joel said.

Damjan raised his eyebrows. ‘ No problem.’ He paused, then flicked the pan a little harder then usual.

Sure enough, the pancake turned gracefully in the air, then another half turn, before landing neatly on the waiting pan.

‘Ha!’ Joel said. ‘Bet you can’t do two-and-a-half flips.’

‘Bet I can,’ Damjan grinned. He knew his tools by now. He paused again, then flicked the pan extra hard.

The pancake flew even higher, crested after two-and-a-half turns, then plopped straight down.

‘AAAAWWW!’ we all cheered.

‘Three-and-a-half!’ Joel urged. ‘Three-and-a-half!!’

‘No way,’ Damjan laughed. ‘Uh-uh.’

‘Come on!’ Joel rejoined. ‘Man Test!’

‘What?’ we said.

‘Man Test!’

Damjan couldn’t refuse a Man Test.

‘Okay, okay…’

‘No!’ I gasped. But it was too late. The Man Test challenge had been made.

Damjan held a look of intense concentration for five seconds. Then he launched a mighty pancake flip… and the pan base flew over his head, along with the pancake, and it all came down with a metallic crash and pancake splatter on the kitchen floor.

Damjan was left shocked, holding just the handle in his right hand.

‘Oops,’ Joel said.

I am not a competitive person but as soon as I read the announcement email, a fire was lit inside me. BAKE OFF! I must win!

Strategy was important. I quickly decided that I would enter a savoury dish. It would surely be a less crowded category than cakes, biscuits and Christmas.

What to cook?  Damjan, I knew, had a crowd-pleasing recipe. I called him in Melbourne to get tips on baking gibanica.

Gibanica (Cheese Pie, Serbian recipe)

500g  fillo pastry
5  eggs
600mL  cream
~150g  fetta cheese
1  tub of cottage cheese
100-150g  grated cheddar cheese
milk/water

Mix the eggs, cheeses and cream in a big bowl.  Reserve 4-6 sheets of fillo pastry for the top and bottom layers.  Add the remaining sheets of fillo pastry into the mixture one by one, ensuring that each one is thoroughly covered (wetted) with the mixture.  If your mixture becomes too dry, add some milk and/or water.

You’ll need a large baking tray.  Grease the tray with a little oil or butter.  Place 2-3 sheets of fillo pastry (depending on thickness) on the bottom.  Pour the mixture into the try, on top of the bottom layers of fillo pastry, and spread evently.  Place the remaining 2-3 sheets of fillo pastry on top of the mixture, this is the top layer. Pour and spread a little water over this top layer until it is thoroughly wet — this is very important!  If the top layer of pastry is dry, it will burn in the oven.  Don’t worry if it seems too wet, just make sure every millimetre is wet.

Bake in the oven on high heat (I think this means 190-200 C, I think I always use something around there).  Baking can take up to an hour, but check it regularly to make sure it doesn’t burn.

I made the pie in time for my weekend dinner party guests to try some for entrée. My efforts had not turned out as nicely as Damjan’s pies. The layers were packed too densely and there was distinct pastry taste. Perhaps it was undercooked?

My guests loved it, though. ‘You’re going to win, we know it!’ They were emphatic.

After they left, I put the rest of the pie back in the oven for another 15 minutes. Better safe than sorry.

On the day of judgement, all the closet cooks came out. We were astounded by how many entries there were. Orange cakes, cup cakes, rocky road, Olly’s hangover recovery chocolate slice, mince pies, German cookies, chocolate chip cookies, dark chocolate brownies, white chocolate brownies, truffles, ginger biscuits, Christmas tree cookies… The long bench full of baked goods was beautiful to behold.

In the savoury category, I was up against sausage rolls and steak-and-ale pasties.

In the end, my strategy worked. I was declared the winner of the savouries!

Paul won the Grand Baker of them All. He must have spent all weekend cooking because he arrived on the scene with five dishes, including the most impressive iced cupcakes I have ever seen. A worthy winner!