When I went to visit Vera’s new home in London, I didn’t know how to get to her flat door. Neither could I work out how to ring the communal doorbell beside the main entrance to her building.
Also, I had left my mobile phone at work and couldn’t ring Vera for instructions, such is my genius.
Naturally, then, I waited for someone to arrive and I tail gated them to get into the building. Joan the burglar at work.
I hovered in the foyer, trying to figure out my next move. Vera’s flat was number 11. I logicked that it could be on the first floor but I couldn’t see a staircase.
There was, however, a lift. A woman walked passed me, pushed the lift button and entered. I rushed in behind her before realising that the lift was tiny. There was barely room for two people.
‘Floor?’ she asked graciously.
‘Erm, one.’ I was embarrassed. If I knew my way around, I would have walked.
Suddenly, there as a pizza delivery man in front of us.
‘Come in,’ my lift mate said graciously again. I gasped silently.
The pizza man folded himself in and with some experimentation, held the pizza aloft and above our heads.
‘Smells good,’ I commented during the pitiful interval between the lift taking off and stopping at the first floor. I darted out before they could reply.
Well. It turned out that Vera’s flat 11 was on the third floor so I had to find and climb the stairs anyway.